Thursday, December 10, 2009

Seeds are planted and it ain't even SPRING....


















T will be five in two weeks. I have feelings about him being the only black person in his class. I struggle. But in this post-modern, Obama era I try and convince myself that raising this beautiful black male in the most honorable, the most intelligently responsible way, won't be so difficult in this interesting, blended mosaic, mock Utopian and tragically problematic place - which is the "United" States.

So why does T come home from school one day, upset - offended. I can see it in his face and his body language when he relates to me that some boys and girls in his class, he calls them each by name, are drawing pictures of him, images of him, behind bars - in jail. T is disturbed by this and he asks me is he going to jail. And I have to console him, promising him that this would never, ever happen to my sweet, delicate, pumpkin. But in the back of my mind, and I'm not pulling any class card by bringing up Skip Gates how tragically telling this is - almost a decade into the new millennium. Recognizing how real his fear is - is a miserable reality. Assaulting the innocence of children is such a shameful, hateful crime and I know the culprits are cruelly securing the privilege of their offspring. That T's classmates are already throwing him in that fucked-up, blatantly racist box -and these little minions are not even out of Kindergarten yet - makes me wonder what their family's dinner conversations are like.

God Bless Fucking America.



Sunday, November 22, 2009

I LOVE a Good Reading
















Not only was it standing room only but guests were literally lining the corridor outside the main room to listen to and for a glimpse of the line-up of writers for "In the Flesh," 4th Anniversary celebration. T'was a sexy crowd with tremendous writer feedback (which is great for the ego). And as promised, the treats, with a delightful emphasis on sweet and incredibly luscious cupcakes of all sizes ruled the palate (among other things, I'm thinking). Thanks to one of my fav editors of all time, Rachel Kramer Bussel for making it all possible.


Thursday, November 19, 2009

Come Celebrate the 4th Anniversary of the "In the Flesh," Reading Series


I’m reading with the fabulous Miss Rachel Kramer Bussel along with an amazing line-up for the 4th Year Anniversary of “In the Flesh,” Reading Series. You’ll hear some delicious writing, nibble on tasty cupcakes and there will be some fantastic give-aways.

Don’t miss it!!!

The Details: In the Flesh Reading Series

When: Thursday, November 19, 2009

Where: Happy Ending Lounge
302 Broome Street, NYC
(btwn Forsyth & Eldridge)
Look for the hot pink awning that says XIE HE Health Club

Transportation: (B/D to Grand, J/M/Z to Bowery, F to Delancey or F/V to 2nd Ave)

Admission: Free

Venue Website: Happy Ending Lounge

Facebook Invite: In The Flesh Facebook Page

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Translove: Are we Ruled by Desire or Politics?


Last summer I wrote a piece on a friend's blog (Wanda Acosta's Starlette/Angels and Kings) about Translove and what some queer women I know felt about the notion of hooking up, being involved with and possibly falling in love with a trans-person. Since then, my views on trans-related issues have been enlightened considerably. At any rate, if you haven't read it already, I hope you enjoy the piece.
l

One evening I was sitting around with a bunch of friends having cocktails. We’re in our 30’s and better, artists mixed with professional women, well traveled, well read and well ensconced into our “lesbian” lifestyles. Most of us are either “married," in committed relationships or dating. After a few rounds, the atmosphere became more relaxed and we started talking shit, talking about how hot and how in shape we thought we were for our age, boasting about our libidinous pasts, bragging about all the hot women we’ve had or what we would do if we suddenly found ourselves single at this stage in our lives. Some insisted that dating again would be a blast. Others said they didn’t look forward to getting back into the scene where finding a suitable life partner might be highly problematic. Obviously inebriated, we delved into the possibilities of engaging in anonymous sex, threesomes, group sex, wondering if being in a polyamorous or open relationship would even be cute at 40? What being a divorced lesbian at 35 years of age with 2 children would look like with respect to finding love? The conversation went all over the place with a variety of different scenarios thrown into the intoxicating mix, but the real show stopper, the very thing that jolted the conversation was, would anyone date a transperson/transidentified/gender different and/or gender questioning individual?

Some exchanged these nervous stares, some shook their heads negatively while others didn’t hesitate with their “hell no’s.” Since I happened to be the one who tossed the topic into the ring in the first place, I needed to know why the hell no’s felt the way they did. Well, as expected, these forward thinking, well rounded women didn’t have very open minded explanations for their well executed hell no’s at all. In fact, most couldn’t even explain why they would never go out with someone who was trans-identified. They just knew that they wouldn’t.

Is it really just a matter of preference? Maybe. Personally I’ve always been fascinated with identity. I love all derivatives of female and masculine identities. From the highest, lipstick wearing, stiletto wielding fem to the hardest, deep voiced, dildo packing, butch swagger walking. Bi-sexual women? No problem. But dating a transperson transcends female/male identities as we know them, possibly redefining our own sense of identity in the process. Some would say I don’t mind going where many women wouldn’t dare to go. But this is more of a bigger statement about my own identity. I acknowledge the fact that I’m much more open than my peers. I’m willing to stretch my experiences to the limit, if there even is a limit. Variety being the spice of life is more than a notion to me. But the larger question is whether or not my choices or openness with respect to preferences is more of an unconscious political decision more than simply preference? Are the decisions of my friends to completely forgo even considering dating a transperson more about politics than preference and desire? Why is it so easy for them to knock something/someone they haven’t even tried? And to take it one step further is preference a form of discrimination? I guess the same argument could be had about race. Is dating people of one specific race about preference or is it unconsciously political? Are you discriminating against groups of people because of your racial preference? Or because you’re uncomfortable with gender fluidity? Just to pare all of this down, I think maybe I’m just one of those hopeless romantics who feels that you can’t help who you fall in love with. If you were deaf and blind and presented merely with the warmth, the touch and the essence of an individual and from that it was demonstrated to you how they would shower you with their unconditional love, their kindness, understanding and passion - suddenly, their race, their gender identity, their body, many characteristics would all be secondary.

I know what it’s like to be discriminated against. I’ve been called the N word and the D word to my face and behind my back. I’ve been chastised because of the way I wear my hair, my fashion choices, my music choices and even because I’ve dared to date butch or bi or big women. C’est la vie. I'm a proud African American woman, an out and proud lesbian whose dated those who considered themselves Black, White, Mixed Race, Latina, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, African, European, Middle Eastern. I’ve dated Buddhists, Christians, Jewish, Muslims, Atheists. I’ve dated Democrats, Republicans and Independents. I’ve dated skinny woman, athletically diesel to plus size. I’ve dated blue collar to white collar to no collar. I’m fairly worldly. I’ve been to five of the seven continents and I have a deep and committed curiosity about the world we’re living in. I’m in a long-term committed relationship of my dreams with a partner I couldn't imagine life without, in my own private version of a queer nuclear family. Couldn’t be happier. But if I ever found myself in the position of being single, would I ever date a FTM transperson? The answer would be absolutely! Why not? But, when the question was posed back to me would I ever date a MTF transperson, I was forced to go back to consider whether preference is political, based strictly on desire, or do I really discriminate? Suddenly this invisible line in the sand was drawn. So I wasn’t as open-minded as I claimed to be after all. Of course this propelled me to do some of my own quiet reflection. Who am I to judge anyone with respect to their politics, their preferences or who they are? Because it must be a beautifully, tumultuous combination of politics and preference that rule our desire. But I can't dismiss the fact that the little dirty word called discrimination must play some role in desire and preference whether or not we care to admit it. At least as far as I can tell.



Wednesday, October 14, 2009

PANIC Comes to the New York Public Library


Hello People,

This is just a friendly reminder to come join a collection of cool, queer writers of color for an afternoon of literary magic at the New York Public Library - Jefferson Market branch. You can get up early Saturday morning, have a divine brunch in the Village with friends and head on over to the library about 2:30pm - Sixth Avenue and 11th Street. It's going to be a really fierce way to spend the afternoon.


Get the Details HERE:




Sunday, October 4, 2009

PANIC! at the New York Public Library - Part 1


If you haven't heard me read, here is a remarkable opportunity in a stimulating setting. Charlie Vázquez is bringing his banging queer reading series PANIC! to the New York Public Library's Jefferson Market branch. Four delicious queer writers of color: Karen Jaime, Brandon Lacy Campos, Charlie Vázquez the host and myself will be there shaking things up in the name of queer lit.

Date:
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Time:
2:30pm - 3:30pm
Location:
Jefferson Market NYPL
Street:
425 6th Avenue at 10th Street
City/Town:
New York, NY

Come join us!!!



Saturday, October 3, 2009

The Little Boy and His Purse

This morning was a beautiful, picture perfect, autumn Saturday. My son and I thought it was a nice idea to take walk. I had to run a couple of errands and we were in search of a 500 piece puzzle for him.

We were in the toy department of one of those lovely capitalistic conglomerates. Kids were running around from aisle to aisle just high from the kiddie crack that lined the shelves. My son was convincing me why he had to have Transformers/Power Rangers/Batman/Thomas the train - some toy of that ilk and not the puzzle we talked about earlier. In the meantime, I'm doing what I like doing, people watching. Son ran to an aisle where a mother and son stood, Mother, kneeling down, talking to her son in calming tone, negotiating a purchase of some Transformer type gadget. The little boy had to be the age of my son, maybe a little older. In the crook of his upward bent arm was the cutest brown little tapestry purse with a wooden handle - a sweet pink flower crocheted on the front of it. I smiled immediately, to myself, and to this Mom - whom seemed just like an average Mother raising her child in the city - not super cool or hip or anything. Just being a loving, accepting Mom. And I thought to myself - for a Mother to let her 5yr old son rock a purse - out in public too - was truly a beautiful thing.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Quote of the Day

"If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.”
Audre Lorde

Friday, September 18, 2009

Hispanic Heritage Month: Hispanic Panic Reading


Come celebrate with supreme literary genius Charlie Vazquez and a fabulous line-up of writers that include Claudia Narvaez-Meza, Robert Vázquez-Pacheco, Maegan La Mala Ortiz, Erasmo Guerra, Cristy Road and Brandon Lacy Campos. I promise you it's gonna be hot!

Date: Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Time: 8:00pm - 10:00pm
Location: Nowhere
Street: 322 E 14th St (btwn 1st/2nd)
City/Town: New York City


See you there!!!


Monday, September 14, 2009

Is it ME or is There a Noticeable F'ed Up Trend Occuring in the Media of Late Regarding Black Women in Professional Sports???



As some of you may or may not know, I've been following the Caster Semenya story and continue to be sickened by the developments. Reports that she's been placed on suicide watch (story) continue to confirm that her right to privacy has been recklessly and literally ripped away from her. It's beyond disgusting.

Then, when the Serena Williams story hit - where Miss Thing allegedly threatened to shove a tennis ball down the throat of a line judge because of a real shitty call - I, like many people, had to prepare myself for the onslaught of negative press that was sure to follow Miss Williams and her "actions." So thankfully, I follow a very cool Twitter gang (thank you B.L.) that keep me well informed of some interesting critical thought on thangs. My new blog fav is (Queer) Bully Bloggers. Jack Halberstam wrote a piece on Venus, Caster and the distorted media coverage of female black bodies and the blatant double standards that plague black female athletes so intellectually hot it made my toes curl. I am thankful that my pain and suffering on this issue has been somehow validated. Here's the piece called Match Points. It's brilliant. I'm also posting another piece Bully Blogger Tavia Nyong’o wrote on Caster called The Unforgivable Transgression of Being Caster Semenya. You folks @ BB ROCK in my book.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Quote of the Day

"I have learned silence from the talkative, tolerance from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strangely, I am ungrateful to these teachers.”
Kahil Gibran

Friday, September 4, 2009

Dr. Toni Morrison

Last month I had the privilege of attending a reading where Dr. Morrison talked about her latest masterpiece, "A Mercy." As always, she had the standing room only crowd transfixed with her carefully worded pearls of wisdom. Visiting a dear friend's blog reminded me how powerfully moving her quotes are. Right now, here's my favorite by her.

"When there is pain, there are no words. All pain is the same. "

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

CASABLANCA: Play It Again by Christian Wikane


Donna Summers, Cameo, KISS, Parliament - all were signed to Casablanca Records. My friend, musical journalist Christian Wikane has done an exemplary job chronicling the history of this very important label on PopMatters which includes soul searching interviews with many of its artists. I encourage you to take a peek, while he takes us back to a wonderful and awe-inspiring time in music history.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Go and hug your "Michael" by Maya Angelou.


When a friend sent this poem to me - I felt I had to post it for my own personal reasons. Enjoy!

Go and hug your "Michael" by Maya Angelou.

Yesterday I cried watching the Michael Jackson memorial. I cried for a
little Black boy who felt the world didn't understand him.

I cried for a little black boy who spent his adulthood chasing his
childhood. And I thought about all the young black boys out there who may feel
that the world doesn't understand them.

The ones who feel that the world does not understand their baggy jeans,
their swagger, their music, their anger, their struggles, their fears or the
chip on their shoulder. I worry that my son, may too, one day feel lonely in a wide,
wide world.

I cried for young children of all colors who may live their life feeling
like a misfit, feeling like no one understands their perspective, or their
soul. What a burden to carry.

As a mother, I cried for Katherine Jackson because no mother should
ever bury a child. Period. And I think about all the pain, tears and
sleepless nights that she must have endured seeing her baby boy in
inner pain, seeing him struggle with his self- esteem, and his insecurities
and to know that he often felt unloved. Even while the world loved him
deeply.

How does it feel to think that the unconditional love we give as mothers
just isn't enough to make our children feel whole? I wonder if she still
suffers thinking, "What more could I have done?"
Even Moms of music
legends aren't immune to Mommy guilt, I suppose.


When Rev. Al Sharpton (who always delivers one "Awesome" funeral
speech), said to Michael's children " Your Daddy was not Strange . ... . .
It was strange what your daddy had to deal with" I thought of all of the
strange things of the world that my children would have to deal with.
Better yet, the things I hope they won't ever have to deal with anymore.

And as a mother raising a young black boy, I feel recommitted and yet a
little confused as to how to make sure my son is sure enough within
himself to take on the world. Especially a "strange" one. To love himself
enough to know that even when the world doesn't understand you, tries
to force you into it's mold or treats you unkindly, you are still beautiful,
strong, and Black. How do I do that?

Today, I'm taking back "childhood" as an inalienable right for every brown
little one. In a world that makes children into "booty-Shakin", mini-
adults long before their time, I'm reclaiming the playful, the innocent,
run-around outside, childhood as the key ingredient in raising confident adults.
Second, I will not rest until my little black boy, My Michael, knows that
his broad nose is beautiful, his chocolately brown skin is beautiful, and his
thick hair is beautiful. And nothing or no one can take that away from him.

Now, ain't we Bad, ain't we Black, and ain't we Beautiful!

Maya Angelou


Saturday, August 15, 2009

Death by Desire


Death By Desire

by

Rosalind Christine Lloyd

(its okay....its just a damn moment in time)



Incantations of “this ain’t no funeral,”

Whispering

Over and over again

As the slippery knot of

That disease called

Procrastination

Lodges itself

Inside a barren and wasted mind

Blocking any possibilities of release

The rumbling of repressed opportunities

Crowded by the weight of doubt

Swallowed by the heaviness of regret

Overwhelmed and burdened by aimless, shapeless, insatiable, haunting reminisce

Scratching, clawing out from beneath a reality one convinced is not their own


Monday, August 3, 2009

Friday, July 24, 2009

E. Lynn Harris - We'll miss you


Harris was a huge inspiration to me for many reasons. He helped put contemporary Black literature in many more hands and he cast an important light on Black Gay Literature specifically. I'm eternally grateful for his trailblazing. Oh so very young, but his legacy will live on.

Quote

"Anxiety is love's greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic."
Anais Nin

Thursday, July 23, 2009

HOPESTOCK @ SOB's this Sunday, July 26th with the divine Ms. NONA HENDRYX!!!

I was absolutely DELIGHTED by the invitation from the always wonderful music journalist and producer Christian Wikane to record a Hopestock video snippet yesterday during a beautiful sunny afternoon in Union Square Park. Once the video is up on YouTube I will post it here. Go support HOPESTOCK!!!

President Obama Criticizes Arrest of a Harvard Professor



http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/23/us/23race.html?_r=1&hp

Thank you, Mr. President, for keeping it real. Because EVERYBODY knows, like it or not, he's right. If he got caught trying to "break-in" to his own pad on 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW - po-po would surely bust a million caps in his ass.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Murder Rate Against Trans People is Rising



In a report out of Washington D.C. - 200 transgendered people were murdered between January of 2008 and June 2009 - which means - every three days a transgendered person is killed somewhere in the world.

What's even more chilling about this report is that while Brazil seems to be the most dangerous place for transgendered people reporting almost 60 murders last year - the second most dangerous place is the United States with 16 trans murders. Shameful news, just shameful.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

My Interview with the beautiful Brandon Lacy Campos on his blog "My Feet Only Walk Forward." Rippin' Gender and Writi' Sex

Rippin

Shared via AddThis

One thing I love about what I do as a writer is having the opportunity and the privilege of meeting the most wonderfully talented, gifted, generous, supportive and (not to mention gorgeous) like-minded artists. This year I was fortunate enough to be a part of Charlie Vazquez's fantastic monthly literary series PANIC at Nowhere in the East Village. This series rocks - and is a MUST to check out.

The incomparable Brandon Lacy Campos - poet, playwright, journalist, and life commentator, who was named #2 Queer Latin Blogger on the Web by MiApogeo.Com was one of the amazing writers on the Double Pride Panic reading. We realized we have a special affinity for each others writing style and Brandon graciously interviewed MOI, yes me, for his website. I hope you enjoy it - and make sure you subscribe to his site to follow Brandon and all his titillating updates!!! His musings on life, love, politics (and his tasty recipes) should be a part of your daily diet.

Please comment here and let me know what you think about my interview. I'm DYING to know :)

All-Black Italian Vogue Returns — With Barbie



Okay. Italian Vogue "dedicates" another issue to Black Models because of the continued lack of color on the hottest runways. A black model is NOT even on the cover and the "supplement" is a promo for Black Barbie dolls???? Not one beautiful chocolate or butterscotch face in the issue? Hey Vogue, why even bother in the first place? Really.......

Monday, July 20, 2009

Old School or Old Fool?



Enjoying the last, few relaxing moments of my beach vacation - I had one of the most, unpleasant, uninteresting conversations of the week.

A woman, a writer, lesbian and obvious baby boomer decided to engage me in a conversation about her observation of the changing "face" of Cherry Grove, Fire Island. I know what you might be thinking....sounds like changing "complexion," doesn't it? For those of you who may not know, besides Provincetown, Fire Island - both Cherry Grove and the Pines have been a beach vacation destintation for many in the Northeast LGBT community for many years. Where the Pines attracts a predominately upscale, gay male vibe, Cherry Grove attracts more women, drag queens and LGBT snow birds. She asked if I had walked along the beach lately and have I gone into town. I said yes I have. She then asked me if I noticed the new "variety" of people that have descended on the Island. I didn't have to ask her what she meant by variety because she volunteered that she was referring to "people of different races, younger people (was she referring to children - MY child? or gay teens?), people from different socio-economic backgrounds, and different orientations (different as in not "gay"). Lot's of straights." My jaw dropped just a little. Clearly, I seemed to be one of those 'different' people she was referring to as she asked me next - was it my first time out on Fire Island. I laughed. And I told her that I'm a native New Yorker and that I've been coming out to Fire Island - off and on - for nearly twenty years. I could have continued to go on - but I asked myself - why waste my time educating an "old head." I thought her sad and hoped that she was a part of a dying breed. Going into town myself later on that evening, my party and I decided to dine al fresco at the local pizza parlor. It was a beautiful, balmy night and from the outdoor dining area you can watch folks either board or disembark from the ferry. Sitting beside us was a table of eight, which consisted of white, black, latino, mixed, male, female, straight, gay, and otherwise and a few kiddies tossed in. I wondered, what is wrong with this picture? Not a damn thing. And when I thought deeper about it, maybe 20 years ago there wasn't a lot of folks "mixing" on Cherry Grove like there are today. There wasn't a lot of children of queer families either - but to me, that table represented the future of this country. With the support of straight folks, queer folks can successfully achieve the right to marry. What's the problem if straights actually want to vacation in predominately Gay venues? My son's classmates and playmates (almost all are not of color and even more are hetereosexual) see that he has same sex parents and his home life is just as ordinary as their own. It is their generation that will be even more supportive of rights for gays to marry, to adopt, and have the same rights as other human beings of this great country of ours.

Back to Old Head.

Despite her dated point of view, she is not alone. My partner recently attended a conference attended by prominent lawyers and judges. On the panel on race, one of the conference participants turns to her and says, "now that you have YOUR (black) president - you have obviously overcome." This was from an ivy league educated legal-minded individual. With Affirmative Action being the usual explanation for the Obama's and the Sotomayer's of the world and a huge black and latino underclass who hardly feels the affects of any upwardly mobility - how can anyone actually believe that we live in a country that is now suddenly color-blind, class neutral, gender-neutral and is open and accepting to various sexual orientations - just because there is a black president in office? I don't know, but I'm hopeful that my son's generation and those after him will be able to correct the wrongs, the evils and the extensive discriminatory and prejudicial damage of generations prior in a much easier, more fair, more accepting way. It would be nice if children can go to the beaches and swimming pools of this melting pot of the U.S.A. and one day, not be judged by the color of their skin, the gender of their lovers or the orientation of their parents - but - the content of their character. Someday....

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Pride Reading




DOUBLE PRIDE PANIC!
*twice the charm*

Charlie Vázquez and NOWHERE are excited to present DOUBLE PRIDE PANIC! -- a Pride Week reading featuring writers and poets of color Brandon Lacy Campos, Rosalind Lloyd, Ian Rafael Titus, Vincent Lofton, Claudia Narvaez-Meza and Taylor Siluwé, who will be reading from his new fiction collection, "Dancing with the Devil". Come celebrate with us!

Date: Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Time: 8:00pm - 9:30pm
Location: NOWHERE
Street: 322 E 14th St (btwn 1st/2nd Aves)
City/Town: New York, NY

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

understated beauty......



There is something about the understated beauty of Canada.

(photo taken in the garden of a retreat in Quebec late summer 2008)

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Quote

"The visionary lies to himself, the liar only to others."
Friedrich Nietzsche

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

The Blacks, The Gays, And Prop 8. Weighing in on Race and Same Sex Marriage


Barely opening my eyes one morning, exactly one week ago today, I switched on the news. Watching Judge Sonia Sotomayer accept the nomination to the Supreme Court was a high way to start the day. For Hispanics, for women, for my fellow Bronx-ites (BX – stand-up!) for “marginalized groups,” this was a step in the right direction for all American people. I was thoroughly elated. However, the news that followed was not so positive. The report was on the California high court’s decision not to reverse the ban on same sex marriage. All eyes were on Cali. With the ban in place, I thought, what could this mean for New York – with its own battle coming up in the not so distant future? As a native New Yorker, its easy to take certain things for granted since I live in a city with a high concentration of liberals. Like California, known for its own open minded, cosmopolitan/metropolitan enclaves like Los Angeles and San Francisco – what we tend to forget about is the high concentration of conservative-minded suburban to rural areas that make up large portions of these two states. And these voters bare no or at least little resemblance to their more “hip,” urban, more tolerant neighbors.

So my early news high was cut short by the disappointing news – one step forward, one step back. My partner and I have been together for many years, sharing a home together with our son (and our treacherous terrier). The recent Prop 8 ruling continues to remind us that our family is not equally protected and that certain decisions by law are unfair and unjust. Even in this day and age, citizens of these United States are not given the same rights and protections as other American citizens. It’s something women and people of color are no stranger to.

That night there were protests all around the nation – and the local news channel covered one such protest that took place one neighborhood over from my own. The footage showed a legion of protestors taking it to the streets to protest the decision. The reporter began interviewing one of the protestors – a middle aged man carrying his toddler in his arms. When the reporter pressed him on what he thought about the courts decision, he quipped, “It all boils down to one thing – this is racism. Pure and simple.” I leaned in closer to the flat screen to see if I could make out the expression on this guy’s face to see if he was for real. He was dead serious.

Since when is homosexuality considered a race? Did I miss something?

Okay – maybe I should give the protester the benefit of the doubt and say – perhaps he meant racism is synonymous with homophobia. Well, being that I have experienced both forms of discrimination in my life time, I believe I am more than qualified to testify to the fact that although similar, both are uniquely different experiences. Said differently, although there are obvious parallels between the Black Civil Rights Movement and the LGBT’s community’s struggle for Equal Rights, there is an unavoidable amount of evidence supporting the fact that this alignment of the two movements trivializes the potency and the profound cultural significance of the Black Civil Rights Movement and its deep, centuries old roots – pregnant with its connection to colonialism, slavery, racism, exploitation, torture, discrimination and beyond. Certain segments of the white LGBT elite denies its obvious access to its own white privilege, carelessly co-opting much of the language of the Civil Rights movement to advance the same sex marriage agenda – diminishing the importance of a critically, painful piece of American history in the process.

To watch how this entire Prop 8 scenario plays out is terribly interesting. Since the initial passage of the proposition there has been a considerable groundswell of renewed determination within the LGBT community to increase support for same sex marriage. It has now become the community’s most galvanized effort since the push became a central issue some years ago; so aggressive its reminiscent of the grass roots efforts put forth during the AIDS crisis during the 90’s with rallies, marches, fundraising drives, etc. It’s almost like November 2008 became something of a wake-up call for the community – which is a somewhat different attitude PRE to POST Election Day 2008. Am I the only one to notice this?

I’ve surfed the web checking out the coverage of Prop 8 and my research has been quite interesting. For example, one gay website which published several stories on the subject, one in particular caught my eye, titled something like “California Decision brings the issue of Race and Gay Divide to the Forefront Again.” While I won’t give an analysis of their POV, I did want to highlight a posting in response to the piece – where the poster declared, “Strange how homosexuals think of Latinos and Afro-Americans as their natural allies.” (sidebar - it really did read AFRO-American...I'm serious). Oh really? Since when? Segregation in gay & lesbian bars, organized groups, etc., continues even today in the 21st century. I hate to admit this, but there isn’t this extensive amount of racial mixing between white and people of color gays and lesbians even in the most sophisticated cities like NYC and LA. Yes, much of this is voluntary, but to me, it is still a startling fact to absorb. You can easily walk into a club in New York City that is almost entirely Black or White or upper-class - etc. Over fifteen years ago, as a young, free-lance journalist, I covered stories about gay and lesbian bars implementing the racist procedure of “carding” people of color before allowing them entrance. There continues to be minimal representation of people of color in LGBT publications (both in their editorial staff and in marketing and advertising), websites, along with minimal representation in the upper echelons of LGBT organizations. I consider it offensive to say that there is so-called unity between persons of color with the organized, largely white LGBT “elite,” when this is not totally the case. Coming out as a black, lesbian - I’ve experienced my share of racial antagonism from members of the LGBT community in a variety of social settings. Many times it was just awkward and uncomfortable but for the most part I didn’t feel the warm and fuzzy welcome. Now this was many years ago and things have certainly changed and I’m not suggesting at all that the cadre of LGBT movers and shakers have racist sentiments. But to imply that a portion of the white LGBT elite isn’t racist at all is absurd (I'll refer those who don't know to the blogs of Andrew Sullivan Dan Savage). Their response to the initial passage back in November - targeting blacks with racist venom because of their overwhelming support of Prop 8 was no surprise to me. It was, in fact, predictable. So taking this into account, I understand that I am neither warmly welcomed within the "white" LGBT elite or within the Black community completely. This really sucks. But it helps to know who my enemies are and who they continue to be.

One of my absolute favorite bloggers of all time, Jasmyne Cannick, pretty much summed up perfectly the problem with the “elite” LGBT community and its handling of Prop 8.

THE PROBLEM:
Strong feelings of entitlement, refusal to work with others, racism, extreme issues with class, sudden temper tantrums.

THE PRESCRIPTION
Take as needed, one chill pill with a large glass of reality….

All I’m really trying to say is that the LGBT community’s fight for same sex marriage is a very important cause with a more than worthy agenda. It’s a human rights issue without a doubt. But it should advance this agenda without dragging the Black Civil Rights Movement into their propaganda. As politically astute as the LGBT community has become in recent years, to simply gloss over their own dirty laundry which includes denying their own racism, classism and sometimes treating the bisexual and transgender communities as if they are evil step twins, is no way to move forward in unity as a movement. In other words, stop being such hypocrites.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

No Day at the Beach



No day at the beach.


I thought being by the ocean would be soothing.

Instead, the waves seem to be crashing against the surf brutally. Their roar seems furious - louder than usual. The sand feels coarse beneath my feet - I can feel shards of glass buried deep within the tiny granules. The wind whips my face so hard it stings. It is bitterly cold. I begin to feel myself shriveling into a knot of numbness.

Feeling this I realize that I am deeply, profoundly, sad. My sadness has subconsciously stretched itself into me, infiltrating every part of my being, every cell, every action, every thought, every emotion - from my brain to the very tips of my fingers. It has nuanced how I see life, how I feel life. It is shocking to comprehend this and to admit this to myself.

A flash of daylight filters my vision. Its 5:00am. Dawns first light is a gift. The sky is a certain blue, so patient, so peaceful. Grey waves roll infinitely into its own caress. My skin captures its moisture. The air is cool, crisp, fresh, filling my anxious lungs. The taste of sea salt is light against my lips. Its coaxing, pushing, moving, encouraging.

Quote Moment

Whew....its been a while.

So, seems like a quote is in order.

“Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried.”

Having said that...watch me try and dig myself out of this.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Feeling Like a Nina Simone Song



This is my homage to the life of Ms. Nina Simone.


For some reason I was feeling something in the air. The Divine Ms. Nina Simone, The High Priestess of Soul, kept popping into my mind and her music kept randomly coming up in my music player. And when I realized that it was close to the anniversary of her death, April 21, 2003 - it made so much sense.

It was six years ago. I was rushing back to the office after an extra long lunch. I remember it was a beautiful, sunny day. My mind was focused on several projects in progress, knowing my work load was relentless and I would have to put in some serious overtime during the next few days. So I'm hurrying across Broadway when this beautiful sister rushes toward me. Her energy is anxious, but there is also this profound sense of calmness that balanced her. It compels me to stop right in my tracks - which in New York City is highly unusual - because people rarely stop to chat with strangers. She can barely look me in my eyes but when she does, for one fleeting moment, she asks me, "have you heard of Nina Simone?" I'm speechless at first, but I felt the urgent need to respond. And so I answer in one breath, "yes." In my hands, she thrusts a colorful flier detailing the rich life and the passing on of Ms. Simone. Then she says, "I'm her daughter, please come to her memorial service today in Harlem." And after having said this, Lisa Celeste Stroud (born the same year as me) rushes away across Broadway, fliers tucked securely beneath her arm - an intense woman in pain but in peaceful mourning of her extraordinary Mother. I'm flushed with emotion of what it means to lose someone close to me, particularly my own Mother whose birthday happens to be in April. I cannot even conceive what life would be like without my Mother on this earth-journey with me. I was touched in ways I hadn't felt in a long time. I remember feeling stunned, almost paralyzed as I'm staring at Lisa Celeste's (now known as Simone) back as she moved swiftly down Broadway - me wanting to talk to her, comfort her in some way - like was it even possible? It took me a moment before I could move again, to start walking back to my office. In that one moment in time, I was reminded that everything happens for a reason and that there are no coincidences. Seldom do random experiences stay with us - but that is one forever imprinted on my soul.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The 2009 White House Easter Egg Roll



An Experience I will Never Forget....

When a friend of my partner asked whether or not our family would be interested in attending the 2009 White House Easter Egg Roll with the First Family - we jumped at the opportunity. We were even more inspired once we learned that there was a certain amount of tickets reserved for LGBT families to participate.

We arrived Easter Evening. Having made reservations at a nice restaurant within walking distance of our hotel - we enjoyed a fabulous Easter feast. Tyler was thrilled at the prospects of meeting President Obama - constantly asking us "will President Obama be there? Will he be upset if we're late tomorrow?" The only thing that could relax him was the nice hot chocolate "made from Verona chocolate" the host of the restaurant gave him as treat for dessert.

The next day we eased into the morning after having breakfast, flipping thru various channels featuring segments of the White House Easter Egg Roll. We couldn't help but feel the excitement - especially for our little one - who could envision the possibilities that he too, could possibly become a World Leader some day.

The White House was a nice walking distance. As we stood at the front of the White House - a motorcabe roared through - I couldn't help but to feel a rush as I gripped Tyler's hand tighter in my own. It was hard not to be in awe being this close to greatness. The crowds were thick but patient and respectful. The lines? Long and laborious but one could hardly hear a complaint, lest it was a restless toddler (and there were quite a few).

Once we reached the south lawn, despite the lines for all events from photo ops with PBS Kids television characters, the Egg Roll, Egg Hunt, Egg decorations, Kid's Kitchen, Soccer, Story Telling.......everyone, from children to parents/family members/care takers were on their best behavior as the sun slipped through the clouds ensuring that our special day in Washington DC was warm, civilized and unforgettable. Being this close to The Obama Family in 2009 was an experience we wanted our little one to always remember.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Quote Moment

I love quotes.

So once in a while, I'll post one that I happen to be feeling really strongly about in any given moment.

Anais Nin.....her quotes always move me. This is one of hers.

I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

She Panic Reading: March 25, 2009



What a fabulous evening!

Charlie Vazquez of Fire King Press/Queer Latino Estoeric organized a marvelous line-up in honor of Women's Month with the theme: *multicultural meditations on female desire*. Nowhere was all aflame last night, the room filled with scintillating lit heat. My heart was also warmed by the cast of supporters that came out to hold me up. As some of you may know, readings are not my strong suit. I suffer from MAJOR performance anxiety syndrome. But for some reason, my inner warrior Goddess was awakened and I 'performed' just fine. Thank you EVERYONE for showing so much love for me and for the arts. And thanks to those who couldn't make the event - your positive energy was all around me holding me close (especially a certain someone very special to me - I love you, baby). I'm unsure when I'll be doing another reading, but stay close to Scribe Vibe for any and all updates.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Upcoming Reading THIS WEEK!!!!



Not to be missed!

SHE-PANIC! At Nowhere, NYC

Wednesday, March 25th, 8PM sharp! 21+, Free

Charlie Vázquez hosts SHE-PANIC! *multicultural meditations on female desire*, a sensual evening of readings centered on the desire of creation, female desire, at Nowhere, NYC. Come grab a seat and listen to the lusty, multicultural exploits of erotica divas Martha Garvey, Mure Vyn, Rosalind Christine Lloyd, Llivia Llewellyn, Tiffany Lee Brown and Nora Robertson. I'll be happy to be hosting these ladies, who hail from the Pacific Northwest to Trinidad and beyond, and hope you will too...bring a friend and a smile.


Nowhere, 322 E 14th St (btwn 1st/2nd Aves), East Village, NYC
Wednesday, March 25th, 8PM sharp! 21+, Free

Special Note:
So it is RARE that I do a reading, so please come out if you can to support. You know I'm THE nervous nelly regarding these public speaking thangs - so bring a sister a valium if you're holding. :). See you there!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Firewood


I took this photo while in Ghana and initially I referred to it as "Lady carrying firewood on the Cape Coast." Now, I simply call it "FIREWOOD."

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

ETERNITY

Eternity
© 2007
Rosalind Christine Lloyd

Eternity;
Flung like a whisper of an aria,
against the thunder
of wonder
of an infinite, extended center
of waves of oceans that roam
and condone
the epicenter of
closed minds
that fail to find the soft strength
in endless waterfalls
that taste of golden inner peace.


The determined rush rush
of persistent showers that push push
into forever pools
that glisten like invisible jewels
that release a spectacular spray
of cerulean, slate, shades of blue, shades of grey
into bottomless vessels
of unlimited thresholds
of an undeniable existence
subconsciously conscious
or
consciously subconscious
Fluidly – Fluidity
Forever

Friday, March 13, 2009

Photography perhaps.....


Creativity is Abstract.

Expressing myself has not always been fluid. But, my love of travel has turned my desire of documenting my adventures to something more aesthetically motivated. In other words, I'm into photography. I found not only does it capture moments in time, but it adds a special visual to something that I can put to words later.

In 2004 I spent some time in Italy. Many people are generally drawn to Florence, however, I was infatuated with Rome (and Venice). This particular photo is of Bar Toto in the Jewish Ghetto. What I find fascinating about visiting old cities is the combination of the new and the ancient. Is the marriage of the two disruptive or inevitable?

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Temple

This is a poem in progress. I've flirted with the art form. While I've discovered it is not my strong suit, I like to wing it when compelled.


Temple
by rosalind christine lloyd

Mind fuck-ing
Grey matters
Contorting, twisting into
Pinks, ochres, burnt sienna
Blazing golds across my mind
Body
Soul transporting
Sense of reality shifting
Time is slipping
Mind is slipping
Mine is slipping
Digitally enhanced
Filling empty fertile, greedy spaces
Lingering aches of smooth, supple surfaces
The salty sweet irresistible taste of reality
Heavy on my palate
Soaking my senses

Wrapping ones mind around the intensity of an unforgiving emptiness
That seeps into one’s cluttered, racing, conscious mind
Questioning the inevitability of a certain destiny
Deciding whether or not
to become some warrior against the war of fate
Wrapping one’s thighs around the possibility of what’s impossible
Wrapping one’s arms around the newness of something ancient
That’s warmer than the Egyptian summer sun
Heating the desert of
many lives past
A proverbial temple

Sunday, February 8, 2009

The Process: February 2009

In the quiet moments of the morning is when I have the most clarity. And this morning, I decided to conquer one of my greatests antagonists, Writer's Block.

Sometimes I’m not sure if I have intermittent writer’s block, or if I’m just struggling to piece together coherent blocks of time in which to write (could be both). So recently I’ve made a determined effort to to become inspired. Not necessarily by anything or anybody but I've found this renewed eagerness to find some spark, a glimmer of inspiration.

And so I’ve found a muse! Not the love of my life, not the little man that’s the quintessential apple of my eye - oh no, that's way too much pressure to put on them and me, especially at this awkward (uncreative) phase I’m in.

I’ve found a muse, in myself.

Not groundbreaking, I know. But to me, it’s a start.

I’ve been faced with a life size mirror and in order to enhance the clarity that I am seeking, in order to shake the blocks from their foundations, I’ve decided to go inside for a while. Not to be still - but to shake things up a bit.

Check back here to find out how it all turns out.