No Day at the Beach

No day at the beach.

I thought being by the ocean would be soothing.

Instead, the waves seem to be crashing against the surf brutally. Their roar seems furious - louder than usual. The sand feels coarse beneath my feet - I can feel shards of glass buried deep within the tiny granules. The wind whips my face so hard it stings. It is bitterly cold. I begin to feel myself shriveling into a knot of numbness.

Feeling this I realize that I am deeply, profoundly, sad. My sadness has subconsciously stretched itself into me, infiltrating every part of my being, every cell, every action, every thought, every emotion - from my brain to the very tips of my fingers. It has nuanced how I see life, how I feel life. It is shocking to comprehend this and to admit this to myself.

A flash of daylight filters my vision. Its 5:00am. Dawns first light is a gift. The sky is a certain blue, so patient, so peaceful. Grey waves roll infinitely into its own caress. My skin captures its moisture. The air is cool, crisp, fresh, filling my anxious lungs. The taste of sea salt is light against my lips. Its coaxing, pushing, moving, encouraging.