Haiti

It took me a while to blog about Haiti.

From the moment I heard, I knew, like many knew, how devastating this natural disaster could be for this small island nation even before the news reports and the images began to materialize. Being just about the poorest nation in the western hemisphere, I have to repeat what many have said, that the handling of Haiti could very well become another Katrina in many ways. However, it is important to note that many of the players are different. We shall see. So it is my hope and focusing much of my prayers that Haiti will heal from this, rebound and will become an even stronger nation than it already is and that it will become an even greater nation moving forward.

L'Union Fait La Force ("Unity Makes Strength")

Happy New Year - Happy New Decade

If the first decade of the millinieum was significant for any special reason at all, it would have to be the fact that the United States elected it's first black president. Not really attempting to look at the mess that was left him from the prior administration, a mess people are expecting him to 'clean-up' expediently - going forward we can only look up to what promises to be an interesting future for this country and the entire world. I'm looking forward to Gay Marriage being legal in all fifty states. I'm looking forward to Universal Healthcare in this country. I'm looking forward to the end of the use of the term 'immigrant' to define people who come to this country for the very same reason everyone else came here (at least the ones who came willingly) and for them to be naturalized equitably like everyone else "afforded" citizenship. I'm looking forward to the decrease in gay/lesbian/bi/trans bashing and stricter sentences against the perpetrators. I'm looking forward to a decrease (and elimination) in crimes against children and stricter sentences against the perpetrators. I'm looking forward to a decrease in the number of people of color in prisons, a decrease in women in prisons and to answers why pregnant women are in even in the prison system in the first place. I'm looking forward to less criminal acts (and elimination) against women, children and those locked inside 'the other' category internationally. I'm looking forward (and elimination) to a decrease in crimes against animals and stricter penalties against those who abuse and kill them. I'm looking forward to a greener planet and a reduced carbon footprint for all. I'm looking forward to food and clean water for all. I know I'm looking forward to a lot. I know I'm optimistic. But we must aim high to accomplish most things in life. Imagine if Obama never uttered the words, "Yes WE can." The "we" is very essential here.

In my opinion, the next nine years should be kinda fly.

Seeds are planted and it ain't even SPRING....

T will be five in two weeks. I have feelings about him being the only black person in his class. I struggle. But in this post-modern, Obama era I try and convince myself that raising this beautiful black male in the most honorable, the most intelligently responsible way, won't be so difficult in this interesting, blended mosaic, mock Utopian and tragically problematic place - which is the "United" States.

So why does T come home from school one day, upset - offended. I can see it in his face and his body language when he relates to me that some boys and girls in his class, he calls them each by name, are drawing pictures of him, images of him, behind bars - in jail. T is disturbed by this and he asks me is he going to jail. And I have to console him, promising him that this would never, ever happen to my sweet, delicate, pumpkin. But in the back of my mind, and I'm not pulling any class card by bringing up Skip Gates how tragically telling this is - almost a decade into the new millennium. Recognizing how real his fear is - is a miserable reality. Assaulting the innocence of children is such a shameful, hateful crime and I know the culprits are cruelly securing the privilege of their offspring. That T's classmates are already throwing him in that fucked-up, blatantly racist box -and these little minions are not even out of Kindergarten yet - makes me wonder what their family's dinner conversations are like.

God Bless Fucking America.

Pardon my Absence

but my latest?

strangled by domesticity.

The Little Boy and His Purse

This morning was a beautiful, picture perfect, autumn Saturday. My son and I thought it was a nice idea to take walk. I had to run a couple of errands and we were in search of a 500 piece puzzle for him.

We were in the toy department of one of those lovely capitalistic conglomerates. Kids were running around from aisle to aisle just high from the kiddie crack that lined the shelves. My son was convincing me why he had to have Transformers/Power Rangers/Batman/Thomas the train - some toy of that ilk and not the puzzle we talked about earlier. In the meantime, I'm doing what I like doing, people watching. Son ran to an aisle where a mother and son stood, Mother, kneeling down, talking to her son in calming tone, negotiating a purchase of some Transformer type gadget. The little boy had to be the age of my son, maybe a little older. In the crook of his upward bent arm was the cutest brown little tapestry purse with a wooden handle - a sweet pink flower crocheted on the front of it. I smiled immediately, to myself, and to this Mom - whom seemed just like an average Mother raising her child in the city - not super cool or hip or anything. Just being a loving, accepting Mom. And I thought to myself - for a Mother to let her 5yr old son rock a purse - out in public too - was truly a beautiful thing.

Ladies and Gentleman, Miss Grace Jones

My new favorite quote, by Grace Jones.

"I can’t self-destruct if I’m vain."

Watch her FABULOUS performance of HURRICANE at the Hammerstein on Thursday evening. The Queen Diva served it.

E. Lynn Harris - We'll miss you

Harris was a huge inspiration to me for many reasons. He helped put contemporary Black literature in many more hands and he cast an important light on Black Gay Literature specifically. I'm eternally grateful for his trailblazing. Oh so very young, but his legacy will live on.

The King of Pop

Michael Jackson died yesterday.

Speechless.......

No Day at the Beach

No day at the beach.

I thought being by the ocean would be soothing.

Instead, the waves seem to be crashing against the surf brutally. Their roar seems furious - louder than usual. The sand feels coarse beneath my feet - I can feel shards of glass buried deep within the tiny granules. The wind whips my face so hard it stings. It is bitterly cold. I begin to feel myself shriveling into a knot of numbness.

Feeling this I realize that I am deeply, profoundly, sad. My sadness has subconsciously stretched itself into me, infiltrating every part of my being, every cell, every action, every thought, every emotion - from my brain to the very tips of my fingers. It has nuanced how I see life, how I feel life. It is shocking to comprehend this and to admit this to myself.

A flash of daylight filters my vision. Its 5:00am. Dawns first light is a gift. The sky is a certain blue, so patient, so peaceful. Grey waves roll infinitely into its own caress. My skin captures its moisture. The air is cool, crisp, fresh, filling my anxious lungs. The taste of sea salt is light against my lips. Its coaxing, pushing, moving, encouraging.

Feeling Like a Nina Simone Song

This is my homage to the life of Ms. Nina Simone.

For some reason I was feeling something in the air. The Divine Ms. Nina Simone, The High Priestess of Soul, kept popping into my mind and her music kept randomly coming up in my music player. And when I realized that it was close to the anniversary of her death, April 21, 2003 - it made so much sense.

It was six years ago. I was rushing back to the office after an extra long lunch. I remember it was a beautiful, sunny day. My mind was focused on several projects in progress, knowing my work load was relentless and I would have to put in some serious overtime during the next few days. So I'm hurrying across Broadway when this beautiful sister rushes toward me. Her energy is anxious, but there is also this profound sense of calmness that balanced her. It compels me to stop right in my tracks - which in New York City is highly unusual - because people rarely stop to chat with strangers. She can barely look me in my eyes but when she does, for one fleeting moment, she asks me, "have you heard of Nina Simone?" I'm speechless at first, but I felt the urgent need to respond. And so I answer in one breath, "yes." In my hands, she thrusts a colorful flier detailing the rich life and the passing on of Ms. Simone. Then she says, "I'm her daughter, please come to her memorial service today in Harlem." And after having said this, Lisa Celeste Stroud (born the same year as me) rushes away across Broadway, fliers tucked securely beneath her arm - an intense woman in pain but in peaceful mourning of her extraordinary Mother. I'm flushed with emotion of what it means to lose someone close to me, particularly my own Mother whose birthday happens to be in April. I cannot even conceive what life would be like without my Mother on this earth-journey with me. I was touched in ways I hadn't felt in a long time. I remember feeling stunned, almost paralyzed as I'm staring at Lisa Celeste's (now known as Simone) back as she moved swiftly down Broadway - me wanting to talk to her, comfort her in some way - like was it even possible? It took me a moment before I could move again, to start walking back to my office. In that one moment in time, I was reminded that everything happens for a reason and that there are no coincidences. Seldom do random experiences stay with us - but that is one forever imprinted on my soul.

The 2009 White House Easter Egg Roll

An Experience I will Never Forget....

When a friend of my partner asked whether or not our family would be interested in attending the 2009 White House Easter Egg Roll with the First Family - we jumped at the opportunity. We were even more inspired once we learned that there was a certain amount of tickets reserved for LGBT families to participate.

We arrived Easter Evening. Having made reservations at a nice restaurant within walking distance of our hotel - we enjoyed a fabulous Easter feast. Tyler was thrilled at the prospects of meeting President Obama - constantly asking us "will President Obama be there? Will he be upset if we're late tomorrow?" The only thing that could relax him was the nice hot chocolate "made from Verona chocolate" the host of the restaurant gave him as treat for dessert.

The next day we eased into the morning after having breakfast, flipping thru various channels featuring segments of the White House Easter Egg Roll. We couldn't help but feel the excitement - especially for our little one - who could envision the possibilities that he too, could possibly become a World Leader some day.

The White House was a nice walking distance. As we stood at the front of the White House - a motorcabe roared through - I couldn't help but to feel a rush as I gripped Tyler's hand tighter in my own. It was hard not to be in awe being this close to greatness. The crowds were thick but patient and respectful. The lines? Long and laborious but one could hardly hear a complaint, lest it was a restless toddler (and there were quite a few).

Once we reached the south lawn, despite the lines for all events from photo ops with PBS Kids television characters, the Egg Roll, Egg Hunt, Egg decorations, Kid's Kitchen, Soccer, Story Telling.......everyone, from children to parents/family members/care takers were on their best behavior as the sun slipped through the clouds ensuring that our special day in Washington DC was warm, civilized and unforgettable. Being this close to The Obama Family in 2009 was an experience we wanted our little one to always remember.