New Music: Nakia Henry

Hey,

Check out this sister's video and page. Her name is Nakia Henry and she's FIRE!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Q2oPL2os4M

Here's her site.
http://www.nakiahenry.com


And follow her on Twitter.
https://twitter.com/NakiaSaid

Marriage Equality in New York

I'm feeling a range of emotion as I sit here and write this blog on this Gay Pride morning. It takes me back to a time many moons ago when I was this skinny little girl from the Bronx who dared to loc her hair,wear ripped jeans and combat boots while riding the subways of New York City, wanting to clutch her more dominant looking female lovers hand to taunts of "go wash your hair," or "what's up with your jeans?" It was about as daring as we could get for fears that we would be "figured out" and what one might perceive to be an innocent 'taunting' would turn into a full-fledged gay bashing. Despite these perceived threats, I remember not wavering from some form of righteous self-expression that in my eyes and my partners eyes, fell short of actually publicly coming out.

Fast forward some twenty years later. Times are changing. This week, we've witnessed another milestone for LGBTQ rights - New York has legalized gay marriage. It is a monumental occasion and an important one. That we've received the basic human right to marry the person that we love. Although many of us will be 'dancing in the streets' this afternoon in celebration, although many will be proposing to their partners, and a plethora of wedding announcements will begin to invade our in-boxes and snail mail and will become a way of life for us, we also know the fight for civil rights for our community still continues.

Regarding marriage, the protection of same sex couples and families is tremendously important. However, many are not aware that state passage of same sex marriage is limited and that DOMA, the Defense of Marriage Act is what we truly need for our relationships and families to be recognized on a federal level. For many, to marry is a symbolic act but their are financial/economic implications one should be aware of. I suggest you google Tara Siegel Bernard's NYTimes piece entitled "How Gay Marriage will Change Couples Financial Lives" published June 24th for the details. You will discover that the fight for same sex marriage still has a distance to go for "Full equality."

But it's progress. My partner and I will most certainly "walk down the aisle," to prove our loving bond to each other. And we will take solace that our relationship will be recognized as one baring little difference to the relationships of our married, heterosexual friends. Our son, our family will be protected in ways they weren't before. This doesn't reduce the significance of living wills and trusts everyone. Remember Terry Schiavo. One can never have too much (legal) protection.

However, let's not rest on this victory when there is so much work to be done. As New York fought hard to push marriage equality through, there was a major push back from religious organizations actually fighting for the right to continue discriminating against us. This is beyond priceless when the Catholic Church continues to suppress a legacy of priests practicing pedophilia within ranks. Temples and synagogues attempts to police itself on similar allegations and the tithes of black churches are going to pay the victims of closeted preachers of mega churches. So its tantamount that faith-based communities join forces with LGBTQ organizations to meet some of these challenges head-on in an open and honest dialog. Because their refusal to acknowledge and deny our existence within and outside their organizations is at the height of hypo-criticism.

Challenges within the Workplace, International Rights and Immigration, the Military, Parenting, Hate Crimes, Coming Out, Youth, Aging, Health, Trans-gender issues remain big ticket issues for us, not to mention the sometimes illusive presence/inclusion of people of color within the framework.

So, let's celebrate with love in our hearts and minds. But let's also remember our struggle for civil rights continue. And a huge victory such as what New York has achieved this week will give us incentive that achieving our collective goals can happen. It also reminds us that our dreams are indeed possible in our lifetime.

Opening up 2011 on the "Wide Open" Seas

I started the New Year with a vacation. There were a few reasons for the timing but one of the biggest reasons was that I found a remarkable deal on a 10-day cruise leaving from New York City.

I’ve traveled quite a bit but this would be my second cruise. The first was some fifteen years ago and one word to describe it would be forgettable. But this time would be different. My research was exhaustive. There is a plethora of information available online about cruising to the point it was almost overwhelming; however, I found a site that was not only comprehensive but it also had a message board for a variety of communities, including a fairly active board for its LGBT members. So the spoiler here is – this blog posting is NOT about my marvelous Caribbean adventure but more about a posting I responded to on this LGBT message board.

This board was incredibly resourceful. And for someone fairly new to the “cruise world,” it was beyond helpful with respect to all the areas it covered – from what to take and how to pack, to which cruise lines were more gay friendly, the difference between gay/lesbian cruise lines versus the alternative to what destinations to consider. Things were fine until the destination question popped up and there was considerable discussion about the island of Jamaica.

We all know that the world is not free from homophobia. And Jamaica has had its share of the spotlight due to its roster of reggae artists whose lyrics are rift with homophobic sentiment to a rash of violence inflicted upon its own alleged LBGT citizens. So I was not surprised to see the topic was raised on this message board regarding how unsafe the island was to LGBT tourists. Many spoke of their uncomfortable experiences while at port – everything from taunting and verbal humiliation to one poster suggesting that “a female prostitute grabbed his crotch.” While I agree that Jamaica is not the friendliest destination to those of us in the LGBT community but I was taken aback by the vitriol of some of the postings - for example, one poster made an off-color comment about Rastafarians and their “scent” and dare someone mention that their own experiences on this Island nation were far more pleasant than others. Clearly, Jamaica is not alone in its sheer ignorance with it's continued legacy of discrimination that seems to go unchallenged. And I felt that I had to post my own personal feelings on the subject:

With respect to the deep seated discrimination and homophobia within Jamaica specifically and what was suggested in other regions of the Caribbean - I am in complete agreement that these areas should be avoided and these countries should not benefit from "gay $$$" until some high level corrective action is taken in safeguarding LGBT tourists but also, measures should be taken and enforced to protect the rights of their own LGBT citizens. The taunting and harassment experienced by LGBT tourists is not as severe as the treatment experienced by the natives/citizens of these countries - treatment that often ends in the violent rape of lesbians and trans-gender individuals but also the murder of LGBT citizens - crimes that are rarely investigated/rarely prosecuted. Although this fact is obvious to some of us - it only serves to remind as that as US citizens - the fight to eradicate this type of persistent behavior through the years has been largely successful in this country with quite a distance to go I may add - however, the war to do so in other areas of the world, specifically in developing nations, is in its infancy (code word here: 'developing') and dare I mention the word “colonized” nations.

Sadly, discrimination is not something easily fought/eradicated and is something rather complex. I remember "coming out" back in the eighties and although I understood then that the great US of A wasn't necessarily the most accepting place for many, women and blacks specifically along with other groups who continue to fight for basic human rights. The homophobia I would face within my own community was another daunting issue inside of a community that was having its own growing pains just a couple of decades after the civil rights movement. But what I wasn't prepared for was the discrimination within the LGBT community itself and when I say discrimination I am speaking distinctively about racial discrimination. That was something I will never forget whether it was something as superficial as an awkward visit to a gay/lesbian bar to not seeing myself reflected in gay publications, literature, media, art etc. These days when the 'community' speaks of diversity, it is referring to Bears versus Chelsea/Muscle Queens versus Drag Queens versus economic/class differences versus political preferences, etc - often not necessarily referring to racial or gender diversity. Apologies for being long-winded but in other words, what I'm trying to say is no group is exempt from prejudice/discriminating/discrimination - and this is a somewhat vicious reality. What's going on in Jamaica needs to stop - without question - and threatening this nation by not giving them the “gay dollar” is not nearly enough because trust me, they wouldn’t miss it. But it’s been over twenty years since my coming out and although some things have improved for many within the LGBT community - to me it's obvious that some things remain the same for others.

Center Authors, NYC Latina Writers Group and PANIC present Womyn With and Without Voice

Seasons Greetings All,

I have been given the honor by the ever talented Charlie Vazquez, once again, to present my work with an incredible group of women headed by Alicia Anabel Santos at the LGBT Community Center of New York in a program entitled Womyn Without Voices/Mujeres sin VOCES. Please come join us for a spectacular evening of prose/spoken word/theatre among friends for some artistic holiday spirit.

When: Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Where: The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center
Time: 6:30pm-9:30PM

PANIC presents Womyn Without VOICES/Mujeres sin VOCES

Peace and Blessings,

Best Blog Post regarding the Tea Party Agenda

The Democratic Underground had the absolute best post I've seen on the agenda of the Tea Party.

Freepers, Birthers, Morons of all stripe, You didn't get mad...
You didn't get mad when the Supreme Court stopped a legal recount and appointed a President.

You didn't get mad when Cheney allowed Energy company officials to dictate energy policy.

You didn't get mad when a covert CIA operative got outed.You didn't get mad when the Patriot Act got passed.

You didn't get mad when we illegally invaded a country that posed no threat to us.You didn't get mad when we spent over 600 billion(and counting) on said illegal war.

You didn't get mad when over 10 billion dollars just disappeared in Iraq.You didn't get mad when you saw the Abu Grahib photos.

You didn't get mad when you found out we were torturing people.

You didn't get mad when the government was illegally wiretapping Americans.

You didn't get mad when we didn't catch Bin Laden.

You didn't get mad when you saw the horrible conditions at Walter Reed.

You didn't get mad when we let a major US city drown.

You didn't get mad when the deficit hit the trillion dollar mark.

You finally got mad when.. when... wait for it... when the government decided that people in America deserved the right to see a doctor if they are sick.

Yes, illegal wars, lies, corruption, torture, stealing your tax dollars to make the rich richer, are all ok with you but helping other Americans... well fuck that. That about right? You know it is. You people have all lost your fucking minds.

You are selfish, greedy, obnoxious, narcissistic, and frankly... stupid. Your pathetic little misspelled protest signs are embarrassing. Maybe you ought to find the smart person in your midst and let them make up all the signs, cause man, you look like a bunch of idiots. Also you're ugly and your mother dresses you funny.

My Review of The Kids are Alright

The KIDS ain’t alright.

And we can use the term “kids” loosely here, as, in black gay culture; the “kids” are in fact, the children, the gayness – the LGBT community. Now I’m not sure if Cholodenko was playing on words or not. I doubt it.

I think the Lesbian Mafia summed up their thoughts on the movie in a way I found particularly fascinating as I found it predictable:

“We are sick of movies and shows depicting “Lesbians” f*cking men. The End. And if the people who produce this kind of thing knew we wouldn’t just sit down and shut up and we’d hold them accountable, we could discourage it. It isn’t just a matter of a difference of opinion this film perpetuates the damaging myth that only men’s sexuality is certain and Lesbians are - not really Lesbians, especially when they are more feminine.”

It's slightly refreshing in the face of all the kudos Cholodenko and company has been receiving. This popularity promises to make her a very wealthy power dyke and I'm very happy for her. We can use more lesbians wielding a little power over in Hollyweird. As an artist, we open ourselves up to critical theory on our messages and processes when we produce a work. And along with the accolades, I'm sure she expected the lukewarm reception of her film by some within the community.

In short, the film is about a lesbian couple who've been together for twenty years who are parents of two well adjusted teenagers. The teens decide to search for their sperm donor who in turn ends up in bed (very easily I may add) with one of their Mom's, completely disturbing the family unit. Lovely, concept, isn’t it?

The film stars two of my favorite actresses, Annette Bening and Julianne Moore. And as expected, their performances were wonderful, especially Annette Bening who moved me every time she got screen time. Not only did she embody the character Nic, but I truly felt Nic's nuances, pain, loss and anxiety throughout the film.

Being in a relationship for many years with my partner in which we parent our child together, the movie touched many chords with me, mostly the complexities of a "marriage." No it's not easy, you could see this in the film but you could also see the deep love, the support, the foundation, the glue that held things together. On the surface, this seemed like a decent lesbian relationship - or just a decent relationship regardless of description. There are highs and lows and Cholodenko depicted this well. But underneath the surface?

The love between Bening and Moore seemed genuine like any other. Their individuality clashes were not unusual. They seemed somewhat affectionate enough. But I wanted to get into their bedroom. I wanted to see Bening and Moore demonstrate their attraction emotionally as well as physically. I wanted to see them get it on! So you want to know about the sex scenes? The one scene between Bening and Moore was absolutely horrendous. Details? You don’t want them. But I found it offensive, not only being a woman and a lesbian, but as a human being. The scene was despicable and poked holes in anything remotely erotic about lesbian sexuality. Moore was noticeably invisible in this scene and “butch” Bening (yes, the butches are a negative target) who seemed totally disinterested in the act with her gorgeous partner seemed more interested in watching the bad gay male porn they were using as a sex aid than banging her woman. Yes, lesbian bed death rears its lovely "head," here. Unfortunately, I think the overarching theme in all the sex scenes in this film is PENISES rule – whether they belong to straight or gay bodies. Doesn’t matter. I would retract this had there been at least one, loving, sexy scene between Moore and Bening when vaginas got a little airtime. Don't look for it.

Now there was ‘hot’ (and note I use the word hot very loosely here) sex. Those scenes involved Moore getting slayed by Ruffalo. We were treated to watching them in naked, sweaty, grunting action more than once – as if it were the best sex either of them have ever had. The point was over emphasized. I cringed a bit thinking the premise here was that Moore got fucked like most straight men believed a dyke should be fucked. And frankly, I was appalled. But I gotta say, the Lesbian Mafia had the same experience I did. Many straight couples in the theater, especially the men, got a kick out of the sex scenes – as they should. And by the way, there was another semi sex scene with Ruffalo and one of two persons of color in the film. A plot which was loaded on so many historically racial levels where Ruffalo is fucking his black female “employee,” a very young, very beautiful, natural sister (played by the gorgeous Yaya DaCosta) - who even suggested she would have a child by him???? (omg – chattel talk-Cholodenko, you gotta be kidding me). This plot could have been completely omitted. Is Cholodenko so insensitive enough not to see the racially, historical, colonial subtext here? Or maybe she knew. In many ways, this was probably one of the most fucked up parts about the film and it still kind of messes me up when I think about it. For that, she gets no pass from me.

And to have Moore fire the Latino gardener lying about him having a drug problem simply because he was privy to the knowledge this alleged lesbian was secretly being fucked to death by Ruffalo was a cheap shot - not to mention how disposable immigrant labor is. This was another plot in the film that was gratuitous and one we could have done without.

Remember the beginning seasons with Chaiken’s L-word where we had to sit through the subtle racist overtones in the few “of color” characters she tossed in? (note to white lesbian directors, if you use people of color in your projects, either show them with some dignity or just leave us out completely) I also can't forget how we were also assaulted by a barrage of men fucking lesbians. Thankfully she eased up on some of it but what I can deduce from it all is that the privilege of whiteness must mean that one must submit to the dominant culture in order to get your art produced, accepted and fed to the masses. Women and women’s sexuality are always represented as fluid as well as secondary to the power of male sexuality. And clearly people of color, if not exploited, should be erased entirely. Gay men are quite fortunate that that they don’t have to constantly be forced to watch a gay man being fucked by a woman. For lesbians, it’s an all too familiar reality in cinema which even in the 21st century we can't seem to escape. In Cholodenko's film, there were strong, even poignant points made with respect to lesbian families about love, relationships and parenting. It's a pity that it had to be co-opted by moments where the depictions of the values and feelings of marginalized groups had to be sacrificed in order to get these important points across.

Yes!!! Another Reading

"I'm zipping up my boots, I'm going back to my roots,"

Come to the Bronx (to the place of my birth) for a wonderful line-up of OUT writers including yours truly at the AMAZING Bronx Academy of Arts and Dance. It promises to be a divine evening.

When: Thursday, June 10, 2010

Where: The Bronx Academy of Arts & Dance
841 Barretto Street
Bronx, New York

Time: 7:00pm - 11:00pm

For Reservations and more Info - Click HERE

Another Reading - Please Mark Your Calendar.

I'm reading at Charlie Vazquez's monthly Panic Series entitled "Spring Fever Panic." Daniel Lopez, Lena Tsodikovich, Robert Smith of Brother, My Lover queer reading series and Stan Barber will be reading from his new book about Alexander the Great. We hope to dazzle you with tasty literary morsels. It promises to be a lovely time. And don't forget to personally congratulate Charlie on the recent publication of his new book Contraband - (and buy a copy too!)

Exciting times.

Date: Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Time: 7:45pm - 10:00pm

Location: Nowhere

Street: 322 E 14th St, (btwn 1st/2nd Aves)

City/Town: New York City

Never Forget

It can be agreed that there is something wrong with a country where some of its citizens believe it a crime that everyone should have healthcare. Now I am a highly opininated person - but I'll tone down much of my personal perspective by simply saying that I believe the passage of healthcare reform is far bigger that we all can fully understand right now. A huge precedent continues its momentum moving forward with a central theme - equality for all - be it for healthcare, equality for the LGBT community - equality for 'immigrants'. I suppose when there is a perception that civil/human rights is somehow undermining capitalism and its underpinings - there is something else at work. And we don't have to look very far to see what that something else might be. Like the images I posted above and many of the others we've been exposed to from the earlier town hall rallies to present day on the Capitol - these images touched me in an intensely personal way. I'd like to share an experience with you.

I grew up in the Bronx where the Whitestone and Throggs Neck bridges converge. It was (and remains) a predominately white neighborhood where the blacks/latinos and a mixture of whites were segregated in one small section. It was the seventies. The relationships between Blacks/Latinos and the Italians, Irish and some Jewish was tense but for the most part, somewhat civilized (short of the mini race riot of 73 - another story for another time.) Because you see, as long as the people of color in the community patronized white businesses - whites were receptive to taking our money. In other words, we were tolerated. Tragically, a few decades later things have not changed in that area in the Bronx. See article below.

Edgewater and Silver Beach Gardens accused of discriminatory practices.

So one morning my brother and I are taking the bus to school. It's a morning like any other - many of the kids of color take the public buses to school, mixed with residents, morning commuters and other white kids - who for some reason can't walk to school, don't drive to school or other reasons. My brother and I always stand at the middle of the bus for an easy exit. On this day we were half way to school when we hear a commotion at the front of the bus. It was somewhat crowded but what I saw was a young black girl, younger than me, arguing with a pair of older white women. The ladies apparently asked the young girl to give up her seat and she refused. Naturally I noticed it was an unfair advantage that two adults were arguing with a young girl but when some of the other women on the bus joined in the argument and things were being said that should not be said to young children, in fact - to any one for that matter, I became frightened, just frozen with fear. Nigger, dirty nigger came out of these women's mouths in thick accents, which made the girl cower and cry. When they started to spit on her - globs of spit and mucous dripping from her face, in her hair, her clothing, I grabbed my brothers hand moving quickly toward the front of the bus, wrapping the young girl in my arms and demanding the bus driver let us off. And he did, right in the middle of the street. I will never, ever forget that moment for as long as I live.

So watching the news and videos of those people taunt and use hurtful, hateful words, threatening bodily harm, and excreting body fluids from their foul mouths to our government officials - it took me back to that moment in time on that bus in the Bronx. Back then, as an Eighth grader - if you told me that I would witness a Black President in my lifetime - I would have never believed you. But now that President Obama is in office - I have to say that I am not in disbelief over the actions of a very vocal, destructive point of view that still lives in America and might very well be thriving. There is some change we can believe in. But, unfortunately, some things never change.

untitled

Excuse me while I kiss
Her thighs
Because my mind’s eye
Is paralyzed by

Oceans of freedom
Masquerading as
Acts of sin
Swathed in velvet
And silk
And ermine
Enveloping an
Enclosed openness
Of limitless possibilities

Sating an endless, angry hunger
Red as rage
Attempts at smoothing over
A restless, fearless spirit
That’s been tamed
Into a petulant
resentful
Quietness
Seeking the warmth
Of raw, unedited truths
And naked realities
Piercing
Like arrows
Dotted tips
Of poison

President Obama's First Year

This was what our President was faced with back in 2009.

A crumbling domestic (and international) economy with our country nearly leaning toward another depression as it fought its way through a recession. Record levels of debt. Rising unemployment. A challenging healthcare system. An unfinished war in the Middle East. Continued terrorists threats. Gays insisting if a black man can be president then they should be able to get married and he’d better enable it soon. Tea baggers begging for their country back. Republicans shouting about bi-partisanship even though during eight years of Bush and Cheney - the words were never uttered. I’m truly amazed at the fact that certain segments of American society are actually angry at the President for not cleaning up this mess during the very first year of his term. With the unrealistic and frankly incredulous idea that President Obama was suppose to turn this country around in 365 days after almost 3000 days of destructive Republican policies is pure comedy. With the terms liberal and socialist being tossed about like dirty words, when will these certain segments of American society realize that the United States is probably the only Western nation that doesn’t have universal healthcare, free college tuition for its citizens and that welfare, which by the way, is not a terrible thing to offer to those in need.

I believe there is a deep fear, that President Obama will not only turn this country around, but, and I know I'm going out on a limb here, he will go down in history as probably the greatest Presidents that ever ruled these United States. Considering its' legacy, this will probably be the best thing to ever happen to this country.