Enjoying the last, few relaxing moments of my beach vacation - I had one of the most, unpleasant, uninteresting conversations of the week.
A woman, a writer, lesbian and obvious baby boomer decided to engage me in a conversation about her observation of the changing "face" of Cherry Grove, Fire Island. I know what you might be thinking....sounds like changing "complexion," doesn't it? For those of you who may not know, besides Provincetown, Fire Island - both Cherry Grove and the Pines have been a beach vacation destintation for many in the Northeast LGBT community for many years. Where the Pines attracts a predominately upscale, gay male vibe, Cherry Grove attracts more women, drag queens and LGBT snow birds. She asked if I had walked along the beach lately and have I gone into town. I said yes I have. She then asked me if I noticed the new "variety" of people that have descended on the Island. I didn't have to ask her what she meant by variety because she volunteered that she was referring to "people of different races, younger people (was she referring to children - MY child? or gay teens?), people from different socio-economic backgrounds, and different orientations (different as in not "gay"). Lot's of straights." My jaw dropped just a little. Clearly, I seemed to be one of those 'different' people she was referring to as she asked me next - was it my first time out on Fire Island. I laughed. And I told her that I'm a native New Yorker and that I've been coming out to Fire Island - off and on - for nearly twenty years. I could have continued to go on - but I asked myself - why waste my time educating an "old head." I thought her sad and hoped that she was a part of a dying breed. Going into town myself later on that evening, my party and I decided to dine al fresco at the local pizza parlor. It was a beautiful, balmy night and from the outdoor dining area you can watch folks either board or disembark from the ferry. Sitting beside us was a table of eight, which consisted of white, black, latino, mixed, male, female, straight, gay, and otherwise and a few kiddies tossed in. I wondered, what is wrong with this picture? Not a damn thing. And when I thought deeper about it, maybe 20 years ago there wasn't a lot of folks "mixing" on Cherry Grove like there are today. There wasn't a lot of children of queer families either - but to me, that table represented the future of this country. With the support of straight folks, queer folks can successfully achieve the right to marry. What's the problem if straights actually want to vacation in predominately Gay venues? My son's classmates and playmates (almost all are not of color and even more are hetereosexual) see that he has same sex parents and his home life is just as ordinary as their own. It is their generation that will be even more supportive of rights for gays to marry, to adopt, and have the same rights as other human beings of this great country of ours.
Back to Old Head.
Despite her dated point of view, she is not alone. My partner recently attended a conference attended by prominent lawyers and judges. On the panel on race, one of the conference participants turns to her and says, "now that you have YOUR (black) president - you have obviously overcome." This was from an ivy league educated legal-minded individual. With Affirmative Action being the usual explanation for the Obama's and the Sotomayer's of the world and a huge black and latino underclass who hardly feels the affects of any upwardly mobility - how can anyone actually believe that we live in a country that is now suddenly color-blind, class neutral, gender-neutral and is open and accepting to various sexual orientations - just because there is a black president in office? I don't know, but I'm hopeful that my son's generation and those after him will be able to correct the wrongs, the evils and the extensive discriminatory and prejudicial damage of generations prior in a much easier, more fair, more accepting way. It would be nice if children can go to the beaches and swimming pools of this melting pot of the U.S.A. and one day, not be judged by the color of their skin, the gender of their lovers or the orientation of their parents - but - the content of their character. Someday....
